I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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