If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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