She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize