Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
