Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Someone came in the potted fern
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
