shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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