Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You smell like stripper and shame
honey bunches of taint.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
