the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
