Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
