it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
