So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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