um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
that's an acceptable place to lick
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
