I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
