y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize