I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
