we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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