I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
