Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
