My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
