Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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