I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
