No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
