drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
