Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She bit a glass in half.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
