First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
