so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
