She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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