So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
