Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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