summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
