My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
