so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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