Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
