my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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