butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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