fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
