just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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