I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This toilet bowl is my home.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
