I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He did a backflip because drugs
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