oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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