Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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