I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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