DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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