the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I want to have your abortion
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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