Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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