We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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