Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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