You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
