shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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