i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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