When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
