weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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