We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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