It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
