I must be too annoying 4 u.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
