Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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