This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
