once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
