your room smells of hookers.
And success
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
