one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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